When you are a child and your pet gets sick or dies or just disappears one night, your parents shield you. They might be grieving too but they are strong for you. Whether it is a goldfish or a dog, your parents know what to do, what to say to make you feel better. It might be the end of an era but not the world. Fast forward 20 years later, I know the real story because I am paying the vet bills there isn’t any sugar coating this.
My pal, companion of nine amazing years will be leaving me- according to statistics on dogs with this type of cancer, he will be gone within 52 weeks from the date of the amputation of the leg with the cancer cells. His name is Vincent Van Gogh he is every inch a Border Collie. His intelligence, posture, awareness, herding sense, grace and protective nature all speak to wonderful traits of his breed. Yet he is colossal weighing in at 100 pounds before cancer showed its ugly head. Never a fatty, he had the girth of a large German Shepherd with those typical black and white markings that Border Collies have. His markings are exceptional in that the right side of his face is white and the left side is black.
Vinny had been occasionally favoring his rear left leg. With his age and girth, I figured hip or knee replacement in the not too distant future. He also has a buddy my other Border Collie Salvador Dali; together they can pack quite a punch. They play rough at times, running after a ball, a cat, another dog clumsily colliding and sometimes stepping on one another. One day he just stopped using the left rear leg. That day I took him into the vet. Hip or knee, I kept telling myself. $2500, there are surgeons that do these all of the time now. Not to worry. I left him at the vet for x-rays. He would need to be sedated for the x-rays. I was told to come back for him around 4:30. But then there were three calls from the vet’s office that afternoon. Messages calling me to make an appointment for pick up, the doctor wished to discuss x-rays with me. I did not think much of it at the time, just thought they were being efficient. Salvador Dali loved the time alone with his human, we played lots of fetch that day. I called to schedule to pick him up at 4:00. The vet took me into a room, to show me the x-rays. His hips look fine, so do his tendons, but this on his Tibia is consistent with caaannnnnnnnnccccceeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrr. I looked at her all of a sudden I did not hear what she said I was in a slow motion film... I looked at the x-ray and said, what did you say? She repeated herself. This time she was crying. I grabbed my chest; it felt like someone had punched me in the chest. I bent over and started to hyper ventilate. "I need the bathroom now; I am going to be sick!" She opened the door and led me to the bathroom. I felt drunk, this was not happening to me as I rounded the corner there were staff members who had occasionally cared for my dogs when I boarded them with the vet. They were sobbing as they embraced. This was really happening. My parents were not there to say, “Your dog will be fine, he just is not feeling well today." or "You know he is getting old, things happen to older pets, no matter how well we care for them." Or give me a hug that meant we will get through this. All of my pets had died in their sleep or when I was not around. I made such a scene; I did not know what else to do. I needed this cry badly. I was crying in the bathroom with the toilet seat raised. My lunch was on its way up.
I calmed down, cleaned up and returned to the exam room. I called my sister could not get my mother on my cell phone. Hello I said, "I really need you to pray for me right now, Vinny has cancer." She responded with, "No are they sure?' she was crying. Call me back later at home I said, I am still in the vets office." “OK, I love you;" she said and hung up. The vet returned to the exam room. "Dogs do well with chemotherapy and radiation, better than humans” she said. The vet gave me a hug and said we are not exactly sure as to what type of cancer this is so I have made an appointment for us to see an oncologist in the area and gave me a pain medicine called Rimadyl for him to be taken once per day. When I cry Vinny tries to comfort me. He likes to lick my face or anyone's face who is crying. He must have been going nuts while I was crying at the vet. He was in another room, but he can hear a pin drop.
I paid the bill and one of the techs, assisted me in getting him into the car. There was Salvador Dali waiting patiently. Vinny wanted no part of him. The ride home was intense.
That night I went online to find out as much as I could. Since it was in his bone I speculated that it was canine osteosarcoma. I stayed up all night, trying to absorb all I could about this not too uncommon Canine cancer.
Next- chest x-ray and visit to the Oncologist.